Saturday, October 16

it's my life...

Happy Saturday! It's a foggy overcast morning here in California. Maybe Fall is finally here! Yay! Sweaters and my Ugg-wannabe's here I come! :) (It's going to be 75 today, but allow me my delusions...)

I woke up this morning and just laid in bed thinking about my life. I have a wonderful life. It's not perfect, it's full of potholes, bumps, lumps, crazy people, and other warts, but in all, it's a good life, and it's mine. Last night, as I was driving home from work, I was thinking of similar things, and almost got stuck in all of the drama that's going on around me, but I realized that I had a choice. I could participate in the drama, add fuel to the fires, and give away my power, or I could rise above and just push the drama away. I'm pushing it away. That's my choice. If it's wrong, so be it, but I have to make a choice, and I choose happiness and smiling over the drama. I even stumbled on this quote, which tidily sums up how I'm feeling.

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask [yourself] if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. ~ Deepak Chopra

I feel so much better since I decided this. I sat down and wrote it all out in my art journal last night when I got home, and then I poured purple, orange, and lime green paint over both pages and smooshed it in really good. My art journal instructor at A Work of Heart told us this was a great technique if you had to write and wanted it completely private. Only I know what's on those pages now. No one else will ever know, nor do they need to. It was interesting, as I was writing, I noticed that I felt a strong need NOT to name call or assign tags. I'm not sure why that was, since I knew from the start I would be painting over the pages, but it was something that I needed to do in order to preserve the moment, I guess.

Today I'm off to scrapbook with my girlfriends for the day. I've got all my stuff packed, and my heart isn't really in it, but I know I need the "face time" and I know it will be good for me. I'm still a bit introspective about things, but since I'm writing and art journaling, that should help things clear more quickly, which is good. I want to keep my own power, thank you, and I want to be a pioneer of the future rather than a prisoner of the past.

~Have a wonderful day!