Thursday, November 4

past, present, future

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I don't know what happened, but since I turned 50, I seem to think a lot more. :) Really. Like almost philosophically. It's been interesting.

Anyhow, it all started out with thinking about choices. Life choices. The things that really do define us. As I've grown, I've learned that you can't live in the past. You can't dwell on all of the bad stuff that has happened to you, or it will start to define you and control you. Such a trite topic, when you think of movies, but oh so true. Contorted characters with horrific backgrounds who move forward and become villains because they are convinced that there is no place for them in society. But, in reality, this happens all the time. I know, trust me. It's not me, but it has touched my life, and was very difficult to navigate.

I've come to a point where, when something affects me in a way that has no positive value, and only negative, and attacks me personally, it has to be walked away from. (I initially wrote put down, lol, interesting choice of words, no?) In my mind, I visualize it like a piece of baggage, for some reason, I always seem to pick a really old piece of luggage like this, only all beat up and thrashed. I don't know why, I just do. Anyhow, I see myself standing at the side of a road, usually a country road (also interesting, since I live in the city!), putting down that piece of luggage and walking away from it. No running, no crazed haste, I just walk away and never look back.

I think it is healthier to walk away from the painful events in the past than it is to dwell on them and let them take over and contort our present, and possibly destroy something in the future that could be precious and important.

I wonder what would happen if everyone in the world put down one piece of luggage and kept going. Really, I wonder. . . don't you?

P.S. I'm down 20.2 pounds and counting. I guess luggage isn't the only thing I'm dropping at the side of the road. :)